Need some inspiration to face your LDR struggles?The one thing that we can all agree on is that long distance relationships can be great but are not easy. It is well-known whether you have been in such a relationship or not. However, this is not the only undeniable fact. The second truth is that LDR’s can work. There are many successful couples out there that are a testament to this including celebrities, global leaders and everyday folks like us. So how do they do it? How do they navigate the very tricky waters of long-distance dating without falling apart? Here are eight answers to these questions and lessons that you can learn from successful long-distance couples. What you can learn from the ‘experts.’Constant and consistent communicationIf you feel like you call or text too much then you are doing it right. The fact that you do not get to spend a lot of physical time together means that you need to find a way to compensate. Nothing works better than communication. You can call, text, write letters, send photos or whatever else it takes to make you feel connected to your beau. It is not only important to have a lot of communication but also to be consistent with it. Do not be one of those couples that reach out non-stop for certain periods then disappear. Regularity is key. Tech, tech and more techA good long distance relationship should be polyamorous arrangement including you, your beau and whatever gadgets out there that can help bring you two closer. That includes the cameras that allow you to capture moments you spend away from each other. It includes the phones and laptops that allow you to talk and technically see each other despite the numerous miles separating you. It could even be virtual reality gadgets that allow you to explore new worlds together if that is an investment you are willing to make. The bottom line is that for long distance to work technology will have to be your friend. Invest in face-to-face interactionPlane tickets might be costly, but they are worth it. One thing that most if not all successful long-distance couples have in common is their willingness to invest in spending time together. Which means planning regular physical visits and constant back and forth traveling. It is important as calls, texts and virtual dates can only hold the relationship for a while. Establish a routine and stick to itSomething else OG long-distance couples have taught us is the importance of routine. It creates a sense of stability that is very important when it comes to sustaining the relationship. Have a communication routine where you plan for things like video calls. Have a dating routine where you set up long-distance dates on a regular. Finally, have a schedule for physical trips to either person’s location …but don’t ignore the value of spontaneityRoutines are great but if that is all that your long distance relationship is built on you will be in trouble. Another great tip from successful LDR couples is the power of spontaneity. Plan a surprise trip, send an unexpected flirty text or even get a gift delivered to your significant other. These random and unexpected displays of affection are what keep the romance alive in these types of relationships. Work on yourself as a separate entityPeople in successful long distance relationships also demonstrate a strong sense of independence. They love their partners and invest in the relationships while also taking the time to invest in themselves as individuals. It is an important lesson to learn if you are in such a relationship or about to enter one. Take the time to discover and work on your interests. That will make it a lot easier for you to deal with all the challenges involved in long-distance dating. Learn the art of trustYou will need to give the benefit of the doubt if your long distance relationship is to work. One thing that is evident from other people’s long distance arrangements is that insecurities are inevitable. The important thing is that you do not let doubts consume you. Address whatever questions you may have and most importantly learn how to trust your partner. If you can’t then it will not work out for you. Have the end in mindAnother great lesson from these successful couples is the importance of having an end goal. An understanding of an end goal helps make going through all your LDR trials easy as you know that in the end, it will pay off. It could be that you plan on moving in together eventually. It could also be a more serious and lasting commitment like marriage. Just make sure you are on the same page about it. The post 8 Habits Of Successful Long-Distance Couples appeared first on My Long Distance Love. from https://mylongdistancelove.com/8-habits-of-successful-long-distance-couples/
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In their nature, relationships are hard work. “Two different people are coming together as one” is a solution whose equation is never balanced. You know what is even harder? A long-distance relationship. I salute you if you are in one because, in addition to the hustle and bustle of loving a flawed being, you have distance as something to worry about. I remember when I was in a long distance relationship myself. How I loved him! He was the Yin to my Yang and then boom! A job transfer to the other side of the coast. I did not know where to begin or how to maintain something I had worked so hard for. A year down the line, we called it quits, amicably. It was sad, but as is with all relationships, there needs to be a time when you call time of death and mine had come. But why? You ask. How did I conclude that I needed to let go? What were the signs of a dying age? Less communicationThe glue in a long distance relationship isn’t quality time, its communication. Calls, video chats and practically any imaginable way to keep the image of your partner present in your life. While normal couples get the luxury of any love language, couples in LDR have to work with communication. If you are in an LDR and do not communicate for days, something is wrong. Truth is daily communication may be hard but two days is too long. The desire to meet up is no longer presentFlying across states every weekend is expensive. Driving through the country is also pricey, and that is the truth. Meeting, however, is something essential for couples in long distance relationships. The desire to meet should be present, the active seeking out of each other is also a necessity. If neither you nor your partner feels the need, then your relationship may be on the rocks. The foundation is not strong enoughWhen relationships get hard, couples can always fall back to friendship. If your relationship got tossed into a long distance one before complete prior knowledge of each other, you would find it harder to fight together or to stay afloat when hit but the waves of distance. Your interests are no longer in lineIf the plan from the beginning was to work for the time and reunite, then in the middle of it all, it suddenly seems the other partner wants to settle down there, or even start a practice, your relationship is showing major red flags. The wandering eyes beginIf the object at the focus of your eyes or your partner’s eyes is no longer you, then they have ultimately decided to move on. There is a saying that goes “The eyes see what the heart is looking for,” and it’s true. The likelihood of finding love with someone else doubles when you shift focus from your partner – and as it turns out, this is also a great place to abort the mission. YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: How to End a Long-Distance Relationship Your relationship frustrates youPeople get into relationships for many reasons. The major one being companionship. The thing about a good partner is that you get to grow, you are challenged to be better and ultimately regardless of what goes on in the world, and you have a friend, a sanctuary. At any one time when a relationship takes happiness from you, it is not worth being in. If the thought of your relationship brings you to anguish and turmoil, you are better off alone. You are staying in it for the wrong reasonThe only time you should stay in a relationship that is on the rocks is if both of you are in love and want to work it out. If you are driven by guilt or are afraid to leave on account of fear, or the opinion of others, then you need a midnight train to Georgia. Never feel the need to be hurt on account of you don’t want to hurt your partner. Ultimately, they will get hurt- and the sooner, the better so they can get over it. Some relationships are not forever, and that is okay. The expectation we put on forever binds us to dysfunctional relationships that drive us deeper into depression. The most important thing for people in LDRs is not the end but the beginning. It is important to walk into the relationship with enthusiasm, and a little sprinkle of optimism. Your relationship may work, but even if it doesn’t, a break up is not the worst thing to embrace. The post Is Your Long Distance Relationship Still Thriving, Or Should You Call It Quits? appeared first on My Long Distance Love. from https://mylongdistancelove.com/should-you-end-your-ldr/ |
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October 2020
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